REDSKINS

After the loss to Carolina Jags, all the sports reporters and fans were zapping the Redskin coaches, especially the Shanahans, for offensive ineptitude. With starter injuries to two-fifths of the offensive line, injuries to key skill-position players, and two clipboard-holding quarterbacks competing for starter, why would anyone be surprised?

No, the Redskins' situation only magnifies the fact that the defensive team hasn't shut down anyone. When called upon to "step up" and win the game for "ole DC," they have failed. Maybe there should be more attention paid to the defensive coordinator. No team seems to have trouble scoring on the 'Skins. The 'Skins play about as well as they talk - full of "hopefullies."

How is it that wealthy professional football players need to work on the fundamentals? After 12 to 18 years of organized, coached football - not to mention "how to" videos and books by coaches - what more in the way of fundamentals should they need? If they were trying to employ complicated plays rarely dreamed of by average folks in football, then maybe some extra work would be needed. These players are missing blocking, tackling and coverage.

Do any Redskins scouts ever ask the question: Can this prospects actually block, tackle, cover, etc? A professional prospect shouldn't be in the primer on fundamental football playing techniques. The fact that a prospect looks good in uniform, lifts 500 lbs., and runs a 40 yard dash in 3 seconds flat have no bearing at all, if he can't block, tackle, throw, catch, or cover. Instead of taking the "best athlete available" with a notion that you will turn him into a player, why not choose a player who has already proven himself to be player?

Another good idea to try to incorporate into scouting is durability. Some humans have stronger bones, cartilage and tendons (or more flexible). Players who don't break and tear should have priority in scouting, if you want a team full of veterans of your choosing from the getgo.

Lastly, I believe that I could achieve better results coaching the Redskins than any of the recent list of coaches. In one year I would achieve a 50% victory rate. The next year the 'Skins would be in the play-offs. In one of the next three years the 'Skins would win the Super Bowl. Further, I would demand only $300 thousand the first year - plus travelling expenses. Owner Dan Snyder would even be allowed to call a play or two. Whats not to like?

WASHINGTON REDSKINS

I've varied from my norm this year, taking time to watch a few Redskin football games. What with people getting run over or otherwise injured, I've seen the ambulance-chasing profession prosper greatly over the last few years. I've made my share of loot from the carnage. Along with the tattoo business, ambulance-chasing has seen a sharp spike in business.

Therefore, I don't feel embarrassed to state that I've idled away a few hours watching football on the tube. How about them 'skins?

Some years ago (not too many, either), there was a lively debate about whether the Redskins professional football team should change its name. Certain Indian tribal peoples sued them, as I recall. The argument seemed to be that the name was "racist." Indian proponents of change pointed out that no team would name itself with terms such as Kikes, Honkeys, Slopes, Towelheads, Wops, or Rugheads.

Unfortunately for the Indian lawsuit, the judges involved in the case were not "agents of change."

Now it should be noted that the term "Redskin" arose among early American settlers on the Atlantic seaboard because the predominant tribe(s) encountered daubed red clay (or the like) on their skin. Whether this coating was meant to be a protective coating from stinging bugs, as with elephants and other insect-afflicted beasts, I cannot say. Perhaps, as with modern women, this coating was thought a beauty-enhancing addition. Also, there may have been a desire to appear fierce, dignified, or peaceful. Hard to say right off.

That tidbit of info was just thrown in due to my living in Virginia, and we are all so concerned about education. I keep lecturing the youngsters, "Don't use crystal meth!" Also, I tell them, "Don't jaywalk like the DC people do (especially when drunk)."

The point of this blog is that I have a name-change for the Washington Redskins. I propose that the new name for the team be "Washington Skin-Of-The-Teethskins."