D.C.'S NOVEL POLITICS

Washington, D.C. is a city bred to politics, and a political ethos is everywhere evident. In no area of politics has Washinton, the District of Columbia, been more avantgarde than in absentee mayoral leadership. Mayor Fenty has now passed former Mayor Williams as "King of the Road." Whether gay Paris, a Caribbean beach, or meretricious Las Vegas, count Mayor Fenty "in." Absentee mayors are getting to be an urban norm.

Ruling by mobile phone has become very popular with politicians. A few key staff members remain in Washington, the District of Columbia, ever-ready to receive a Fenty-gram or cellphone-ukase. D.C. mayors are thinkers - doncha know? They need to leave the limelight of the Washington fast-life to think about their next five year plan. Stimulated by pleasantly undulating young hips, keeping time to exotic music, the political mind of Mayor Fenty becomes very fertile, siring ideas likety-split.

This is why they were elected - right?

Perhaps no intense political "brainstorming" by a Washington mayor equals that of the struggle against the constitutional design for the nation, which included the District of Columbia as the national seat of government. Just as Freemasons believe that God erred here and there in His design of the Universe generally and Earth specifically (if only He had been advised by the Brotherhood!), so the mayors and pols of Washington, D.C. believe that the Founding Fathers erred. How? The great bulk of Washingtonians will tell you at once: the District of Columbia should have been a state from the outset.

The vanity of these "people of politics" in Washington, D.C. make Ozimandias appear quite modest. Is there an inherent immaturity problem laying waste to sound vision in the District of Columbia? Possibly, but if so, it is an immaturity shared with a majority of "thinkers" on Capitol Hill.

The three main groups of "power-lunchers" in Washington's local government - Freemasonic Blacks, wealthy homosexual "urban pioneers" and Jewish lawyers/office-builders - want to attend meetings of the governors of the fifty states, as equal schmoozers. They yearn to proclaim to their peers that the "great sovereign State of the District of Columbia supports this or that, or opposes this or that. Nay! Not "State of the District of Columbia" but the "sovereign State of Washington II" (too?).

In Washington, D.C. status, turf, and "pecking order" are THE preeminent issues. From it money and fun flow. Hence, by this piece of information the bitter whining about not being a "sovereign state" can be made comprehensible to the "outside" world. ["They don't understand what were trying to say!"]

Every year, Congress grants the District of Columbia a few billion dollars of "other peoples' tax money" ["OPTM"] to try to run a proper government. Every year they fail miserably. It is the sort of place that overpaid "chieftains" abound. They "do lunch" a lot.

One example is the curious pavement on streets in the District that resembles a "sketeboard park" because of all the "rolls and dips" on flat terrain. Clearly, substandard asphalt/paving material is used, as contractors dilute the mix.

Another example is the recent subway train collision. No one in the District EVER thought of a "back-up" system to act as a second monitor of the positions of its speeding or stopped trains.

Still another example is the lack of water hydrants and inadequate water pressure, that seemed to combine to be the "cause" of a real-estate-enriched heiress losing her house and its "priceless" art collection to fire, recently. Sadly, she had probably "entertained" many of these same D.C. politicians at that very home, which is now in ashes.

It is my unofficial understanding that D.C. politicians are "looking into" these problems and that "blue-ribbon" committees are planned to investigate these matters, if Congress will just appropriate "investigative" money.